Thursday, 17 November 2011

The Forgotten Title

So, I didn't get chance to write a blog on Sunday during the 2 hours I had scheduled, because I was really busy helping orphans and organising my filopastryfax* - efficient AND delicient. If anyone wants to buy one from me, they're retailing at around seventy ones pound and ninety 6 pee. Christmas is a busy time though, so get in quick!

I don't really have an awful lot to say this week. I had a filling done in April and it cracked this week while I was snacking on a filopastryfax, so now I have to trail all the way home to have it replaced NOT free of charge probably, which is most indecent. Especially since I read an article about youth unemployment this morning and the figure is quite horrifying. My face looked something like this:


But then I realised two things:
1) By the time I finish this degree, I'll be 25 and no longer classed as "youth", which means I'll almost definitely get a job, because all grown ups have jobs like astronaut and minicab driver and prostitute. If not, I have the option of becoming an alcoholic. Since this torturous "illness" is a classed as a "disability", it means I can live off the state for the rest of my life, get money and healthcare for nothing and in turn bleed the country dry, furthering youth unemployment in this precious time of recession.
2) I recently invented the famed filopastryfax and if that doesn't make me a million within the next year, I've no idea what will!

Yeah, so when I said I didn't have an awful lot to say, for once I wasn't lying. Tune in next week for details of my border collieflower!


*Filopastryfax is a figment of my imagination. If you are interested in purchasing a filopastryfax, send me your monies and I will burrow into your mind to plant the figment tree there also. In 6-8 weeks the figment tree will have sprouted many wonderful imaginings and you will have access to your filopastryfax.

**I have never read "Rage Comics" or any of its affiliates.

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