Sunday, 24 January 2010

Alles braucht seine Zeit

So it's kind of late; I'm kind of tired; Best Beloved has gone to bed and I'm at a bit of a loose end. I don't really want to get into bed yet because I feel like I should relish the second of the two late nights I get in a week and do something productive. But I don't really have any idea what that something might be besides rambling on about life's little nothingnesses on here for a while.

Well, I've finally begun the long and arduous task of editing my novel. It's not quite finished yet; I still have two half-chapters to write, but because I haven't written anything in so long, I'm kind of out of the swing, so I figured editing would be the best way to get to know it again. It kind of sucks though...I've read these chapters so many times that I actually *hate* some of them now. Not good. I'm also convincing myself that no one is going to like what I've written. Is this storyline too thready? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Shit.

Jeez, I want life to just slow the shit DOWN right now. I'm 23 in May and I've only done *one* thing on my List of Things To Do Before I'm 30, and that was eat a Double Decker, and even then Best Beloved had to eat half because I just couldn't face the whole thing all in one go. I should really knuckle down. I should really book a flight to India. Gosh darn.

Anyway, I went to see Fyfe Dangerfield the other night in Manchester. That was pretty near to fantastic. The venue was tiny...basically just a living room with a bar in it. I was so close to him I practically caught his spittle in a jar; it was intense. The support act was darn good also! Villagers...which makes it sound like a band, but actually it was just a guy and his guitar. I think he might have a band, I don't know, so stop fucking asking me, alright? Anyway, I listened to him online afterwards and I would have to say that his acoustic stuff is far far far far far far far far far far far far better in all honesty. He has an amazing voice; he doesn't need all that background filler. I suppose it was kind of annoying how he kept touching his fringe all the time though. Yeah, that was kind of annoying. But then, if you're listening to him without actually watching him, I guess it won't annoy you...the background filler might annoy you, but him touching his fringe shouldn't be a problem, so just don't worry about it for now. Just relax.

Well, tiredness seems to have taken a bigger hold than before and I can't really make any sensible contributions now, so I should probably stop and clamber into my million-miles-away oh man that's a long way away. Further than that powdery moon. Further than that, for sure. I can't even describe how much I want to be in the very middle of the moon right now, curled like a mouse in its nest, with hot chocolate on an IV drip, being warmed by that pearly glow and just sleeping the next year away while my book writes and publishes itself, while Best Beloved sleeps beside me. Oh *jeeps* that's what I need right now.

"Somewhere out there, there's a young girl who will...never be a nun. Auf Wiedersehen, darling."

Thursday, 7 January 2010

It still won't sing

To be completely frank, right off the bat, songs that repeat the same line over and over again and again and again with exactly the same tone and backing music are just irritating. Why do it? GET A GRIP. Jeez.

Anyway, I'm currently sat at my trusty laptop with the very last chapter of my very first novel open in front of me and it would seem I'm a little bit stuck. This is such a terrifying precipice.
I'm very worried that the entire thing might just be one long string of letters slowly spelling out the word s h i t. Sigh. If I hadn't started work, it would be finished by now...but at the same time, if I hadn't started work I would probably have shrivelled up like a worm in the sun. What a tragic spectacle their little brown carcasses make.
To try and snap myself out of this nasty daze I seem to have slipped into, I've been caressing my poetry glands again of late. It's been so long since we were acquainted it's almost awkward to spend time together now. "It was too hot and too much had happened." (Ahhhhh!) However, I inhaled Miroslav Holub for an evening and feel a little more comfortable now. I don't want to lose this. Just another threatening quarry I suppose.
Perhaps a taster next time...not that anyone is reading this. How very romantic!

In other news, I'm learning German (again). So far I can wish you a happy new year and tell you that my daughter is engaged. So Gutes neues Jahr! Meine Tochter ist verlobt. *smile* I think I have rather a long way to go.

I feel like I should sprinkle in a little whisper of my blogs of old, but maybe my imagination is dead. Who knows. Plus, I haven't been kidnapped by any giant bourbon biscuits for quite some time now; my life just isn't that exciting anymore! SO GIVE ME A GODDAMN BREAK YOU LEECHES!

Okay, here's a little peal of pearl pour vous...
Let's stick to the programme;
you smell, I'm hungry.
We're all vindictive.

Signing off. Goodbison.