Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Your Terry Underwear

I spent most of the day in a train today, so I wrote a poem about being on a train. I think people will be able to relate really well to this, because trains look like snakes and everyone knows what snakes are. If you have any problems though, do let me know. 

High lights, low nights! Much love x

On a Train in Spring

Hands up who’s been witness to a sheep
in a field, smashed to bits and sinking?
Really? I’m the only lucky soul?
Well, slap me in the face with an arable documentary.

A woman opens a bottle of water, carefully.
Ain’t nothin’ like a pack lunch to make you feel
like Nigella fucking Lawson. It’s incredible
what an egg salad sandwich can do for your self-esteem.

I huddle in for a team talk. I hear myself say,
“Every one of us was made to suffer,
every one of us was made to weep.”
Life is a parched silence without these moments.

Out in the field they’re readying the soil.
The sun-dried chunks of dirt lie
like the mistreated organs of my circulatory system.
With a little water they’ll be fine. 

Thursday, 4 April 2013

You Should Subscribe


Going a bit old skool tonight 'cause I can't write. As a writer, that's pretty annoying. In other news I'm listening to the preview of the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album. So far, I'm saying Yeah. I'm orf to see 'em in May so now I'm super excited :)

Anyway, I'm going to Edinburgh tomorrow which will probably be harrowing and lovely in equal measures. But what's life without love and harrows? It ain't an awful lot, brothers, I can tell you!

Hope you're all well and wonderful. The poem is fairly self-explanatory.

NaPoWriMo day 4. Enjoy!

On Being an Outcast

I sit down in the old Sunday school
for my weekly Pariahs Anonymous meeting.
The group speaker stands up.
“Unwelcome to you all,” he says.
Everybody leaves, buoyed for another week
with boundless self-depreciation.

47 Minutes Late

Shiiiiiiiiit, I am WELL late tonight. Sozzer, it's all down to my hectic social calendar. Await no longer. Here is a poem about lost love and lost friendship and live political views.

NaPoWriMo Day 3!

In the Aftermath of Whixley Burbage

Today I saw a dog posing for a photograph; Whixley Burbage, an old friend of mine. We used to snort coke together and cruise around in his Maserati, looking for bitches. How our times have changed.

I remember the days we did everything in a circle. Have you any idea how difficult it is to loop water? Whixley was testing me, that bastard. Some days he wore only a cummerbund, just to prove his point.

Once, he said to me, “If a pony belongs to a gypsy and the gypsy is always laughing, does the pony really exist?” Then he bit into a sweet potato and said, “I can has?” That’s when I knew things had gone too far.

“Whixley,” I said. “Dude, why you gotta act so loco all the time? Boi gotta eat, man, I know that, but this a poison too far.” Whixley laughed and said, “Bitches be crazy.” We never saw one another again.

Until this morning that is; this newly-wed-excitement of a morning. He was so different. He was dressed as a racist trying to blend in with the rest of society. Did you know that racists wear jeans now?

Whixley was always very left wing. “When I say ‘OVERTHROW’, you say ‘A DEEPLY CORRUPT SYSTEM OF OFFENSIVE FINANCIAL OPPRESSION!’” is what would chant in clubs when the beat was right.

Oh Whixley; you’re a twatbag. You broke my heart and called it progress. I would have cradled you. I would have taken you in my arms and listened to your sadness like it was a song. Like it was something that mattered.

Walking away from the scene I feel like an unseen extra in a movie, who is only there to make the leads feel like they’re really living it all. I touch my hair and somebody calls a cut. I can’t even get that right anymore.

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Press Play to Hear


Didn't realise the time today, I've been so busy watching this amazing We've Become Mango video that I lost track of the entire world.

Writing has been entirely work-based today I'm afraid so I've found it difficult to slip back into creative mode, which is why I've written a wee haiku. And if anyone thinks that haiku aren't difficult, this bastard took me TWO HOURS. And I'm still not happy with it, so screw you!

Hope you're all well and behaving yourselves in a true and proper fashion befitting of your wonderful natures.  You're my heroes.

NaPoWriMo Day 2!


The loose leaf of speech
crackles across the valley;
our modest forum.

Monday, 1 April 2013

After a Hiatus

Well, it looks like the Rattle Bag got a new look, doesn't it? The old one was getting pretty tired and as our pal F. Scott said, “Youth is a dream, a form of chemical madness.” So since a sorry chapter of my youth is now over and done with, apparently it's time to move on.

And so I shall move, completely naturally, to the point. *casually places hand to hip and leans towards you with an awkward jaunt* Say folks, did y'all know that April is National Poetry Writing Month? You didn't? Why, then it's lucky I'm here, isn't it? I don't know, is it? Is anything really down to luck? Or are we all just swimming through a cesspit of indecision, constantly searching for the small glances of light that help to guide us in our choices?

Whatever you believe, I'm going to be posting some more poetry this month. I KNOW! You were all super depressed when I stopped last week, and unlike a lot of people, I actually feel guilt, so I could deny you no longer! Be safe, be calm, be loved by being lovers.

NaPoWriMo Day 1!

The Scar

Out in the garden there’s a scar
shaped like a fat-lipped mouth fighting off sickness.
If you speak to it, you’ll come away
feeling like a sack of vehement diarrhoea,

the kind that keeps you up all night;
the kind that makes you pull at your flesh
and cry for the safe slogans
of your mother’s voice.

The more you press the scar
the more violently it will attack
with the little spears of livid grass
that have rooted around its stubborn edges.

I read somewhere recently that I’m a liar.
That scar would sing blue murder
to keep itself out of the shit.
But we can’t trust a word I say now, can we?