Wednesday, 28 March 2012

The Hungry Games

It's movie review time once again here at Rattle Bag Towers and this month I'll be reviewing "The Hunger Games". I haven't read the books, but certainly will now that I've seen the film, because that's always the best way to do it - there can be no scary surprises that way. (I am of course joking; the best thing to do is eat the book, to really absorb the story.)

Anyway, here's a photograph that has become quite famous because it is the image used with the film for the poster:

It is a mocking jay. Mocking jays are used to good effect IN THIS FILM. I don't believe these things really exist because I have never eaten one. Find me a person that has and I will believe that they exist. 

This film has Jennifer Lawrence in it. She was also in X-Men: First Class and portrayed Mystiques therein. In this film, she is not blue. In real life, she goes out with Nicholas Holts, which is nice because in X-Men: First Vlass, both of their characters were blue, but neither one is blue in real life, as far as I'm aware. 

In this film, Jennifer Lawrence is called Katniss, but the way they say it, it sounds like Catness, which I take to mean there is an essence of cat about her. This is true, because at the beginning she is very good at hunting, like a cat, and there is a lot of talk about selling skwurls. We never see any skwurls, but I imagine they look something like this:

The fifty P represents a fifty P and can be used to get a good idea of scale. Jennifer Lawrence uses a bow and arrow, which a cat would not do, but she is still quite cat-like in terms of hunting.

Katniss volunteers to take part in the 74th Annual Hunger Games. When I first saw the adverts for this film, I naturally assumed that the contestants had to play a giant game of Hungry Hippos, because that's the only hunger game I could think of. However there is much more killing involved. Here is a photograph taken on set of some of the blood they used in the film. 

As you can see, there is a bit of bone in it. It is not real bone. It might be though, but I don't know. 

This is a really good film in a blockbuster kind of a way. I would definitely take my advice and eat the books first though, because the ending is open, which would make sense because the books come as a trilogy. You will certainly be HUNGRY for more.

I give it 8 skwurls out of 9 trees.

Thursday, 15 March 2012


I found out recently that one of my bestfriendsintheentireworldever is getting married in October, which you should all be pleased about because if not, you are dead inside.

My friend, Ashley, who cannot be named for legal reasons, lives in Maine, so me and Rachel, who you also don't know and cannot be named for legal reasons, can't be there to help with any preparations, which is a shame because we've planned approximately no weddings in our time and we were really good at it. So, to make up for it, I've done some lovely designs that my friend my like to consider for her special day and wanted to share them with you just in case anyone else wanted to commission me as a dress designer for their own wedding. The ones I'm presenting here are mostly tuned to Ash's tastes and desires, but are completely adaptable if you're reading this and think, "Hey, that would look GREAT on me, except for the colour, or the fabric"; don't worry, I can do other designs as well.

Anyways, here they are:

1. The Cherokee design. This is specific to Ash, because she is part Cherokee, but we could exchange to feathers for another material, such as cheese if you're a cheese farmer, or chainsaws if you're Leatherface.

2. The 70s design. Ashley really likes everything about the 70s, especially ABBA, so I've designed this dress to reflect that.

3. The Red Hot Chilli Pepper design. Again, this is quite specific to Ash, because she is really good friends with Anthony Kiedis; or at least she used to be, before he ran off with one of our other best friends, Becky Bucktooth, but I don't want to go into that right now, because it's too upsetting to relive the memories. 
The design would be suitable for ANY RHCP fan, and I can also design a matching outfit for the groom if required.

4. The Backstreet Boys design. Again, this would be suitable for any BSB fan. 

And that's all the designs I've managed to do so far. I'm really busy, but I've made time for this because Ash is important to me. However, as I've mentioned, I'm considering a career in wedding dress design, so if you like what you see, don't hesitate to get in touch. Similarly, pass my blog address along to any of your friends who might be getting married and we'll have a chat. 

Cheers guys, you the best! x