Monday, 1 August 2011

The Methley Shallows

So, since Harry Potter fever has gripped the nation, nay, the world, I've found myself gripped by Harry Potter fever. And being of the generation who grew up at the same time as Harry, I was actually quite excited to see the last film. Oh, by the way, this is another film review. Good.
(NB, I did USED to be the same age as Harry Potter, but obviously in the parallel universe in which he lives, it is now 19 years in the future and Harry is in his 40s and sending the children he has with Ginny Weasley off to Hogwarts, which is safe once more since Harry killed Voldemort and restored goodness to the wizarding world. Btw, spoiler alert - I just told you then end of the film.)

Yeah, so several hundred years ago when I was a fresh-faced 11 year old I received a special piece of post. No, don't be silly, it wasn't a letter inviting me to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Lololololol! However, it DID contain the first two books in the Harry Potter series. "What's this?" thought I, bewildered and strangely excited. Turns out a friend of my mum had a son who worked for Bloomsbury and thought I may like to read these new books because I was about the right age for them. PERSONALLY I feel it was Bloomsbury tipping their hats to me following the manuscript I sent them for my very first novel, entitled Slug Alley; a thrilling tale about the gang warfare that took place amongst two groups of weight-lifting, cigarette-smoking slugs who lived in Britain but spoke as though they had been born and raised in Brooklyn. I'll leave you guys to draw your own conclusion.

I was sucked right in like the impressionable child I was. I bought every book IN HARDBACK pretty much the day it came out. Be under no illusion however, I was just as delightfully cynical then as I am now...I did NOT dress up as a witch or draw a spiderweb on my face or queue up for hours on end to take part in any Harry Potter "fun" days that were going on in conjunction with the release. I simply bought the books, went home and spent the next few days after that barely eating or sleeping because I was too busy reading. Imagine my restrained excitement when I found out they were going to make films of the series! And imagine my utter disappointment when I realised that Daniel Radcliffe can't act and Hollywood had ruined all the best characters! Sigh.

So there's the background...I liked reading the Harry Potter series and I thought the films were shit. And now to my review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2, with some on-set photos I managed to get.

IT WAS AMAZING! I'd watched part 1 a couple of weeks before this one and it convinced me that I should give up my boycott of the Harry Potter cinema experience, because it would seem the producers had finally got it right. I'm guessing most people who have bothered to read this far have read the book or seen the film, so I'm not going to give a story break down, mostly because I prefer the way my own superior opinions look in type, so here they are:

1) I was very glad to see that they kept any Ginny Weasley scenes to a minimum and didn't really let her or Radderz speak all that much. They must have watched previous films and realised that these were the things that made them shit. Same goes for Fred and George Weasley. I don't think Warner Bros will ever be forgiven for their destruction of two of the best characters in the entire series.

2) I think it would have been a nice touch if the vampire-y type guy noshing down on the dead Ravenclaw, you know, the one Hermione blasts off as the three leads are heading to the boathouse to listen to Raif Fi-Enez killing Alan "My Voice Is Possibly The Most Sexually Alluring Sound Known To Man" Rickman? Yeah, that vampire-y guy...I think that part should have been played by R-Pattz...just to lighten the mood, you know? 'Cause it'd be all like, "Buuuh? Waaaaait a second! Cedric Diggory DIDN'T die?! He simply became a vampire and entered into a major movie franchise designed to encourage young girls that giving up their mortal soul to satisfy their overcharged adolescent urges is the only rational course of action?? OH! LOL!"
Yeah, I think that would have been a bit of fun, wouldn't it? Show Hazzer Potter that R-Pattz hasn't forgotten his grass roots since he got all UP in K-Stew's grill, right?
(NB, I'm not entirely sure that guy was meant to be a vampire...)

3) The guy they got to play Griphook was very good at doing ACTING. Very menacing. Nice to see a dwarf being used for something other than comedy effect.

4) The film made me cry. It's very rare I cry at the cinema (movies at home and episodes of Neighbours are a different story), so it must have been quite moving. I managed three highly dignified tears from my left eye, which rolled slowly and beautifully down my cheek.
Tear 1) The part where Lupin and Tonks lie side by side, dead, their hands barely touching.
Tear 2) Snape's memories. OH ALAN! If I'd been Lily Potter I totes would have gone for you! My favourite bit of the whole film was where Snape and Dumbledore are chewing the chat and Snape conjures his patronus and it's a doe, same as Lily's and Dumbledore says, "Lily?" and Snape replies, "Always." Whimper!
Tear 3) When Harry realises he's a whore, I mean horcrux, and heads for the forest but sees Ron and Hermione on the way and Hermione gives him a big crying cuddle and says she'll go with him. Waaaaah! Emma Watson did pretty well with that, imo.

I don't really have much more to say about it. If you're a fan, you SHOULD go and see it. If you're not, you should still go since the effects are pretty spectacular. I give it: 96g of Pick n Mix out of 100g of Pick n Mix.

Harry and his friends on set at the end when everything is happy again:

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