Showing posts with label Weddings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Weddings. Show all posts

Saturday, 16 February 2013

Particular Activity


Hello and welcome to Day FOUR of your life.

I often like to listen in to other people's conversations when I'm on the bus and such like and today's poem is based on a little conversation I overheard. I've elaborated on most (all) of it. I was going to write a longer introduction, but Casualty is on now, so that's IT.

Preparations

“I’ve seen a lot of things,”
said the girl on the bus,
talking to her girlfriends.
“Too many things
as far as most people are concerned.
I once saw a wasp stinging a pig’s teat.
It was poignant,
but I got over it.
I come from good stock.
I’ll not be sent out as glue.”

The bus was clear, light.
It was filled with summer endings,
there was a scent of Soltan factor 5.
“When I get married,
I want everything to reek of perfection.
If anyone spoils it,
I will have them slaughtered;
brutally and immediately.”

Their bags were stuffed
with bridal accoutrements.
When one of the friends
reached up and scratched her arm,
the other said, “Don’t do that,
you’ll ruin yourself before my big day.”

“And another thing,” she continued.
“If you wear a yellow dress
with a white cardigan,
you’ll look like a child.
I don’t want you to look like a child
when I get married;
that would be ridiculous,” she said,
painting fast food icons
onto her fingernails.

“This wedding should be like a Range Rover:
as unnecessarily large as possible.
I want this wedding
to make us look small and insignificant,
so we can grow together
throughout the marriage.”

She held out her hand
and admired her artistry.
“I’ve stared at other people’s food
for a long time.
Somehow it doesn’t seem real
unless I’m the one eating it.
That’s how I know,
I’ll make the perfect wife.”

When they got off the bus,
they left the day behind, the sun dipping
under the Earth’s eyelid,
into the strange milk of twilight.

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Preparations

I found out recently that one of my bestfriendsintheentireworldever is getting married in October, which you should all be pleased about because if not, you are dead inside.

My friend, Ashley, who cannot be named for legal reasons, lives in Maine, so me and Rachel, who you also don't know and cannot be named for legal reasons, can't be there to help with any preparations, which is a shame because we've planned approximately no weddings in our time and we were really good at it. So, to make up for it, I've done some lovely designs that my friend my like to consider for her special day and wanted to share them with you just in case anyone else wanted to commission me as a dress designer for their own wedding. The ones I'm presenting here are mostly tuned to Ash's tastes and desires, but are completely adaptable if you're reading this and think, "Hey, that would look GREAT on me, except for the colour, or the fabric"; don't worry, I can do other designs as well.

Anyways, here they are:

1. The Cherokee design. This is specific to Ash, because she is part Cherokee, but we could exchange to feathers for another material, such as cheese if you're a cheese farmer, or chainsaws if you're Leatherface.


2. The 70s design. Ashley really likes everything about the 70s, especially ABBA, so I've designed this dress to reflect that.


3. The Red Hot Chilli Pepper design. Again, this is quite specific to Ash, because she is really good friends with Anthony Kiedis; or at least she used to be, before he ran off with one of our other best friends, Becky Bucktooth, but I don't want to go into that right now, because it's too upsetting to relive the memories. 
The design would be suitable for ANY RHCP fan, and I can also design a matching outfit for the groom if required.


4. The Backstreet Boys design. Again, this would be suitable for any BSB fan. 



And that's all the designs I've managed to do so far. I'm really busy, but I've made time for this because Ash is important to me. However, as I've mentioned, I'm considering a career in wedding dress design, so if you like what you see, don't hesitate to get in touch. Similarly, pass my blog address along to any of your friends who might be getting married and we'll have a chat. 

Cheers guys, you the best! x